Looking for a high-quality pussy delivered directly to your home? You've come to the right place.
Our trained cat acquisition experts search the globe for only the finest specimens of feline excellence.
Soft? Yes.
Fluffy? Usually.
Judgemental? Absolutely.
| Model | Description | Price |
|---|---|---|
| Standard Pussy™ | Basic cat. Comes with meow. | $29.95 |
| Deluxe Pussy Plus™ | Extra fluffy. Enhanced loaf technology. | $49.95 |
| Gamer Pussy Xtreme™ | Sits on keyboard during important moments. | $69.95 |
| Business Pussy Professional™ | Looks disappointed in your career choices. | $89.95 |
| Legendary Orange Pussy™ | Includes approximately half a brain cell. | $199.95 |
✔ Professionally meowed
✔ Quality inspected by other cats
✔ May occasionally acknowledge your existence
✔ Compatible with cardboard boxes
✔ Internet-certified fluffy
We stopped accepting online payments after a catastrophic incident involving:
• A fax machine
• Three raccoons
• One extremely motivated cat
To order, simply email us with:
1. Desired Pussy Model
2. Favorite Cat Color
3. Number of cardboard boxes owned
★★★★★
"Received pussy. House immediately changed ownership."
— Steve
★★★★★
"Very soft. Very judgmental."
— Karen
★★★★★
"Customer service was terrible. Cat was excellent."
— Anonymous
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